When Leaders Can See It All

If you google “qualities of great leaders” or another synonymous phrase, you will come across a plethora of lists from authors, current leaders, professors, etc. of what people who are lucky enough to serve others in leadership roles should and shouldn’t do. I will say; however, that over the years, I have noticed one overarching quality in those leaders who have provided more examples of what one “should” do versus what one “should not." 

Being a leader of people is not an easy task. In order to effectively serve others, there is a myriad of intricacies that one must recognize and implement. One quality; however, that I have noticed in leaders who are able to passionately lead a community of people is the ability to see things from points of view other than their own. Whether this means showing true empathy when someone is struggling, stepping into someone else's shoes when sharing news about a change, making an unpopular decision when you know there are few people willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with you, or stepping out of your own bubble to lead a change that you may not even be on board with yourself. Even though many leaders believe they are practicing these skills, remember, it is different to step into someone else’s shoes and actually think about how THEY feel in their shoes than to reflect on how YOU feel in them (Gourguechon, 2017). 

Unfortunately, in this day in age, perspective-taking is not an easy task. We live in a partisan society in which people would rather try to prove why their point of view is the “right” one versus taking the time to truly understand someone else’s. A leader, however, who recognizes differences in opinions and is willing to step out of her comfort zone, name that schism for what it is, and find a way to move forward will find it easier to lead through adversity and change than a leader who is not willing to take that step. This act of leadership does not mean that everyone will end up on the same page in peace and harmony, rather that the team may be able to come to a place where they recognize each other’s opinions as different, but valuable in their own right. A leader who can help her team come to this understanding together will experience more success than one who cannot. 

While perspective-taking is not something that comes naturally to everyone, there are some ways to practice it in your daily leadership life. When making decisions, stop and think, Am I leaning this way because this decision is what I would want, or because this decision is best for the entire community. When listening to other people’s perspectives, do not listen with “the intent to discredit or disprove” the speaker, but to actively hear and understand what the other speaker is saying and the feelings behind it (Cools, 2018). As a leader, you do not have to change your views to agree with the other person, but you DO have to allow that person to be truly heard. Finally, recognize that empathy and perspective-taking are not easy. Allow yourself time to reflect on your daily decisions as a leader and whether you took the time to consider the perspectives of your team that day, or focused mainly on your own. If the answer is the latter, vow to do better tomorrow.

Cools, J. M. (2018). How & why you should strive to understand someone else’s point of view: Specifically when you don’t agree. Medium.com. Retrieved on: April 15, 2020.

Gourguechon, P. (2017). Empathy is an essential leadership skill -- And there’s nothing soft about it. Forbes.com. Retrieved on: April 15, 2020. 

Reflection on My First Year as a Principal

When I was interviewing for the position of principal at Kerby Elementary last year around this time, I was asked to complete a writing prompt that addressed how I would know if I had been successful after my first year of becoming principal of the school. I recently pulled it out to reflect on the year.   I believe I am working in the right direction as a leader, but definitely still have areas in which to grow. I am lucky to have such a great team at Kerby to help me along this journey! What I wrote is shared below.

       

 “Relationships are Everything” and “Leadership Matters”. When reflecting on the success of my first year as an elementary principal, these two ideas will weave themselves throughout all of my work with teachers, parents, and students. Although school buildings have many pieces that come together to create success, strong relationships and effective leadership play a major role in each and every one of them. 

 Relationships are Everything: The importance of building positive relationships weaves itself into each and every part of a school community. From the school’s behavior management system to the teacher evaluation model, all of these areas will be better when relational trust exists between school leaders and staff. To evaluate whether I have worked to develop that relational trust in my first year as a principal, I will reflect on the following questions:

Have I made connections with staff, students and families that go deeper than school? Do I understand teachers’ personal and professional passions and what motivates them to get out of bed in the morning? Have I connected with students and their families on a level that extends beyond the classroom? Have I gotten to know the community and participated in neighborhood functions and events? Everything that goes on in a school is better when strong relationships exist. 

In an effort to build these relationships, have I truly connected with students on all levels? Have I recognized student achievement and milestones, academically, socially, and behaviorally? Do I check in frequently with students who are in need of that “extra push”? Have I been there to support students who are struggling and helped redirect their path toward a more productive one?

When working with teachers, have I celebrated with those who are experimenting with new technology or teaching strategies? Have I been there to listen and support them when taking that first leap to try something new? Have I encouraged teachers to explore their passions and continue their professional learning and growth in areas that interest and motivate them? If I can answer yes to the above questions after my first year in this new role, the process of beginning to build relationships with students, families, and staff will be well underway and headed in the right direction.

Leadership Matters: John Maxwell said it best when he stated, “Everything rises and falls with leadership.” Everything! Good leaders inspire and empower others to discover leadership qualities in themselves.  When a school is successful, great leaders inspire teachers to keep the expectations high, while searching for new ways to challenge themselves and others. When a school is experiencing periods of turmoil, great leaders help to maintain focus and keep morale high. Great leaders are also role models for their colleagues, leading by example and inspiring others to follow suit and lead from where they stand.  When reflecting on my leadership after my first year, I will ask myself if teachers and students feel empowered to become leaders of their own learning. Also, have I modeled and encouraged reflective practices for personal and professional growth goals?

As the Principal of Kerby Elementary, I will consider my first year a success if I have maintained the focus on developing the leadership capacity and relational trust among all stakeholders in the school building. Leadership matters because people matter, and in education our main priority should be the continued development of people, students and adults alike.

Relationships Are Everything

Time and time again in education I am reminded that building relationships with our students is the absolute most important thing we can do as teachers.  In my opinion, it even trumps content knowledge.  As an adult, I am much more likely to want to go above and beyond the norm for someone that has taken the time to get to know me and connect with me as a person. It is the same with kids and their teachers.

Now that we are getting close to the end of the school year, it is important to remember that relationship building is something that needs to be sustained throughout the year.  At the beginning of the year, when we are just getting to know our students, it is at the forefront of our minds.  However, as the year progresses, some of these activities seem to fall by the wayside.  However, maintaining a strong connection with kids, and continuing to build your relationship with each child is important all year long. Here are a few simple ways you can build relationships with your students on a daily basis.

• Greet them at the door: Every morning, greet your students at the door with a smile, a handshake, and a "good morning".  Allowing your students to enter the room with a positive greeting can set the tone for the rest of the day.

• Encourage classroom discussions that feature students as the center of attention: Teachers should not always be the center of attention in discussions.  It is important to share information about your life; however, be sure to intentionally choose topics that will focus on your students interests and successes as well.

• Attend extracurricular activities featuring your students: It means so much to students and to their families to see a teacher at one of their extracurricular activities.  I still remember when a teacher attended one of my dance recitals as a child.  I smiled extra bright on the stage that day knowing that my teacher was in the audience watching.

• Protect the students' self-esteem: Whenever possible, handle discipline issues with empathy and without an audience.  Call students into the hallway or keep them after class to discuss an issue, rather than doing it in front of their peers.  Remember that we as teachers are providing an example of how to behave, so if we wouldn't want students to embarrass a peer in front of an audience, we shouldn't do it either.

• Learn about their lives and share about yours (appropriately): Ask students questions about their families and their interests, make connections with things that you enjoy as well. Showing genuine interest in who they are outside of school will show them that you care and help them to open up to you in class.

• Answer journal and blog entries personally: Letting kids see that you read their work and responded to it will encourage them to continue to put forth their best effort with these types of assignments.

These are just a few of many simple ways to continue building relationships with your students now and throughout the end of the year.  You want your students to leave the school year with positive memories and experiences, and continuing to focus on these positive strategies will help ensure everyone ends the school year with a smile.  :)

Parent/Teacher Conferences: For Parents

Parent conferences are quickly approaching.  Educators truly look forward to this first opportunity to formally meet and discuss each student's progress.  The 20 minutes we have to talk during conferences seems to fly by, and it is often difficult to fit everything you and the teacher would like to talk about into the allocated time slot.  Therefore, I wanted to provide you with a few tips and tricks to help prepare for upcoming meetings with your children’s teachers.

Come prepared for a two-way conversation

Parent/teacher conferences are most successful if both parties talk AND listen.  The teacher will surely have information to present; however, this is also a good time to fill the teacher in on behaviors you see at home.  Often a child’s behaviors are not consistent between home and school, so providing the teacher with that information will allow him/her to understand your child as a whole person, not just as a student.

Review academic records

Before the conference, review your child’s academic work, tests, and other information that he/she may have brought home so you are prepared to ask specific questions about your child’s academic progress.  Prepare any questions you may have about areas in which your child is struggling or excelling before the meeting.

Come with an open mind

During conferences teachers will be discussing your child’s strengths as well as areas in need of growth.  Reflect before the conference on areas that you want to discuss with the teacher, but be willing to accept ideas and suggestions from the teacher that may not have occurred to you before the meeting. 

Talk to your child about how school is going

Oftentimes, your child can provide background knowledge as to what is going well in his/her classroom.  You child’s voice deserves to be part of the conversation, so having an honest discussion with your child beforehand may provide you with additional information to discuss during the meeting.

Focus on the positive

Everyone enjoys positive reinforcement.  Even if you may want to discuss areas of growth or concern with your child’s teacher, try to focus on positive aspects of your child’s progress or classroom procedures to help create a positive relationship between school and home.

I truly hope that parents, teachers, and students will walk away from conferences on a positive note with ideas and suggestions to help your children continue to grow and become successful throughout the school year.  It is a great opportunity to continue to build relationships between school and home, and I hope all involved take advantage of the opportunity for discussion and growth.

The School Yearbook = A New Principal's Best Friend

I have been reviewing many different types of data to prepare for the upcoming school year in a new building, a new role, with new teachers, community members, and responsibilities.  I've been studying standardized test data, reviewing last year's SMART goals, RTI groups, and IEP plans. However, another school artifact that I have been studying is one that I never imagined would be the most important, the school's yearbook.

It has been fun looking at the yearbook's candid pictures.  It provides a small peephole into the building's culture, extracurricular activities, clubs, and PTO events.  However, I have most enjoyed looking at student photos, reading names, making connections between siblings in different grades and even twins in different classrooms.  Since I live in the community, often faces look familiar and I am able to put a name to them.  Seeing those smiling faces gets me even more excited for that first day of school when all of the students will come to school wide-eyed and excited to begin a new year.

However, last week at the supermarket, I had an experience that proved to me exactly how important my study sessions of the yearbook had been.  I recognized a student across the aisle whose picture I had seen, and even remembered his name!!  I approached he and his mom excitedly and said "Hi there, you're Brian, aren't you?" I continued by saying "I'm Mrs. Delgado, your new principal, and I recognized you from your yearbook picture.  I can't wait to see you in school next year."  His mother and I proceeded to have a quick conversation and we all went on our way.  As I turned the corner, the student and I made eye contact, and I noticed he was beaming with pride.  That made my day, and I hope his as well!!

That supermarket experience brought me back to the reason we all went into education to begin with, to make students smile.  :)  Also, it allowed me to realize that amidst all of the data, numbers, SMART goals, and student growth scores that are part of my new position as principal, the most important "data points" I need to work to understand are the students I will greet each morning at the school house door.  I am honored to have been given that opportunity and will work each and every day to make every student smile.

Starting a New Journey

I have been anxiously awaiting the day that I would start a new professional journey as a building principal. That day has finally arrived, and I am thrilled to begin working with the teachers and community of an amazing elementary school in Michigan. As I prepare to embark upon this new chapter in my professional life, there are three things that I will keep at the forefront of all of my work.

1. The main focus is teaching children

When I started my teaching career 12 years ago, I was so excited to be able to work with a group of children every day. I loved helping open their eyes and their minds to new content and discoveries through learning. As the years have passed, and I have matured as a person and an educator, I realized that sometimes the most important "learnings" a child has during a school year are those that help them mature and grow emotionally or personally. As I begin my journey as a school leader, I will work diligently to stay in touch with the reason that drew me into education from the beginning, seeking to affect children and their emotional and intellectual learning in a positive way each and every day.  I look forward to doing this by being present and visible in the hallways, classrooms, lunch rooms, playground, and at community events.

2. Listen, listen, and listen some more

I am very lucky to be joining a school community that is already very well-established and successful. My intent as I begin my work with them is not to come in and establish sweeping changes or to "make my mark". I fully recognize that there are amazing things already occurring at the school, and my main goal will be to work to truly understand the school culture and begin to develop trust among all stakeholders. This practice will aid in a more seamless transition into the role of school leader. As a trusted colleague (thanks @mrbernia) told me, I should strive to listen, listen, and listen some more. I completely agree with that advice and look forward to heeding it as I seek to truly get to know all of the teachers, staff, and community members in the building.

3. Take time to "sharpen the saw"

When I went through the "7 Habits" training a few years ago, one of the pieces that stuck with me was the importance of taking time for yourself to "sharpen the saw".  This practice is important as it allows you to stay fresh and focused in the work environment.  I will be 110% committed to my new job and role as a principal.  However, I also will be sure to plan time to do the things that help me reenergize and preserve the main asset I have: me.  I enjoy spending time with family, reading for pleasure, running, and yoga.  It is important to come to work energized and ready to interact in a positive manner with the teachers, students, and community.  This is a value I hold true for myself, but also a value I will emphasize to the teachers and staff with whom I am working.  If we all come to work energized and invigorated, the school culture will be a better place for all.

I realize that there will be MANY more areas of focus throughout the beginning of my journey as a school principal, but these are three of the areas that I will keep in mind as I begin to collaborate with the new school community.  To say that I am excited to begin this journey would be an understatement. I am beyond thrilled, and look forward to beginning my work as a school principal.

Storytelling to Build Relationships

Every year at parent conferences, a handful of families comment that their children love how I tell stories about my husband and kids during class. They comment that often they feel like they know my family well since stories about them often come up at their dinner tables when my students recount something I told them during class. It is something that I do naturally because I love talking about my family.

When reading the article Leading From Within by Parker J. Palmer,  it reminded me of the fact that storytelling is a great way to create and build relational trust. As Palmer (2000) stated, the more we know about a person, the more connected we feel to them.   As a school leader, the practice of starting each staff meeting with updates and celebrations about people’s personal and professional lives is a great way to start building and developing the foundation of trust and storytelling in the work place. It also sets a good example that people could take back and use in their own classrooms.

As I reflect back on my teaching career, I now understand that the realization of the importance of building relationships is something that has developed as I have matured as a person. I cringe as I remember myself defiantly telling a seventh grader in Philadelphia “You do NOT have to like me, but you DO have to respect me!!!” As a young 22 year old, this seemed like the best way to get respect from a defiant teenager, demand it. However, 12 years later, I realize that if I had approached my relationship with that child differently from the start and worked on building a relationship through storytelling and understanding of his position, I might have had a different end of the year conversation with him than the one I recounted above.

The same is true about relationships between school leaders and building faculty and staff.  Teachers will work harder for a building principal that they like.  It is important to continuously work on establishing relational trust and building relationships throughout the school year using activities such as storytelling, celebrations, and connecting at a level that goes beyond the day-to-day classroom instruction.

In summary, one of the overarching themes that has woven through all of my courses in school leadership is the importance of building relationships and establishing trust in the work place. To me, the fact that this theme appeared in all of my class work, whether it was philosophy of leadership, human resources management, school finance or school law, only serves to further highlight its importance and necessity in the development of a successful and functional school building.

References

Palmer, Parker J. (2000). Leading from within. Let your life speak. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.